This is my thought pattern as I was waking up this morning:
So much to do
How many carrot cakes do I need frosting for
I need to buy a ham
I wonder if John has figured out what he needs for Christmas Hash
John's talking about golfing Christmas morning with Paul and Randall
Will he have enough energy to do the Christmas Hash?
Too bad there aren't carts cause grandpas need carts sometimes to get around the course
Patriarch Ririe was in a cart with his grandson.  His grandson asked if he could drive the cart.  While Patriarch Ririe was walking behind the cart, his grandson accidently backed over him, causing permanent injuries.
It's hard to tell grandchildren no
Sometimes children do things or take things without asking because the are afraid they will be told No.
Patriarch Ririe had a feeling he shouldn't let his grandson drive the golf cart
Those feelings can be called spiritual promptings
I had a spiritual prompting that a twenty dollar bill would be flushed down the toilet
When I was roughhousing with my little brother and sisters, I had a spiritual prompting someone would get hurt if we didn't stop.
What if I could teach my grandchildren about spiritual promptings and they could feel a no from the inside; they wouldn't need a grandparent to say it.

As some of you know I'm digitally challenged.  I'm refering to the digits attached to the metacarpals.  I think and talk much faster than I type.  When you add in the fact that I don't know what I'm doing when it comes social networking on the computer, you have chaos.  Many of my family members and some of my friends are busy sending entrees and farm animals to one another and I'm finally figuring out how to update my profile.

Last Saturday morning I was trying to catch up on the Facebook accounts, and I noticed a small box in the lower righthand corner.  It was a friend wanting to chat.  I noticed the line at the bottom with a space below, and figured that was where I was supposed to write my reply.  I took a couple of minutes to type a short message.  Then I was stumped.  How do you send the message?  There was no send button!  I clicked on my friend's name hoping that might signal back to you and it erased all my hard work composing a message.  I had to start all over.  Not having a clue what to do I decided to ignor the chat box and diminished it.  Within a short period of time there was another chat box popping up.  This time it was my sister-in-law.  "How r u guys"  I called her up on my cell phone and told her my sad story.  She patiently talked me through the chat steps, and I told her I understood everything except how to actually send the message since there's no send button to click on.  "Oh, you push enter."

No kidding, you press enter.

Last weekend our niece, Molly was in the San Jose area and we got to spend some time visiting and catching up on family news. When my sweet husband asked how Molly's husband Sa was doing, she shared that the car accident he was in earlier in the year, has been a life changing experience. Although Sa's physical injuries were thankfully minor, the accident raised issues that he still struggles to deal with.

Thinking about Molly and Sa brought to mind my own life changing experience. My strengh was my ability to obey laws. Obeying the laws of God and man had served me well. I avoided many of the addictions that plague many of my peers. I had confidence in my ability to understand and relate to others. My father told me that a woman's mission was to marry and bear children. So I married a wonderful man I knew would always take care of me. Life was perfect. I stayed home, changed dirty diapers, washed dishes when I had to, and lovingly supported my husband in his career.

Then the unthinkable happened. My husband lost his job. My life as a stay at home mom came to an end. I had to work, not just for extra spending money, but to put food on the table. It was many years of temporary jobs, before my husband found the job he has worked in for the last 20+ years. I became angry and depressed. I blamed everyone even myself for my misery. I saw only problems and conflicts. I was so angry and miserable I even thought of leaving my family. A good Bishop provided some family counseling and the therapist recommended I attend a 12-step recovery meeting.

Those meetings changed my life. I began to realize my efforts to control and manage my life weren't working. I believed God could do anything, and I made a decision to turn my life and my will over to Him. I remember how scared I felt when I knelt and asked Heavenly Father to take control of my life. I pledged my willingness to accept whatever He sent as His will for me. This was no easy pledge; there was the possibility that we could lose our home. I had no idea how God could fix the mess we were in, yet I had to trust in Him because I couldn't do it.

The first step in my journey was to appreciate what a blessing my sweet husband was in my life. It's sad to say he got the worst of my anger, but the more I recognized his strengh and expressed my gratitude, the happier I became. Our finacial problems didn't resolve immediately, but things began to turn around.

Today my life is much different than it was when we first married. We are still very much in love, only deeper because of the experiences we've faced together. I'm still in recovery and attend a 12-step sponsored by our church.  Now I have a career; one I feel God lead me to. I did leave my family for a period of time to get training as a mental health professional. My sweet husband became Mr Mom and I got the experience of being the away from home parent. It was a journey of incredible personal growth for me, and my husband was always there being whatever I needed him to be. He never told me what to do. He listened, helped me sort out my priorities, and set aside his personal needs to support me. My prayer is that as we continue our journey together I may follow his wonderful example and support him as he supported me.

The Benson boys came this summer and spent a couple of weeks with Paul and Mindy.  Here they are with Randall, April and Adam just after a game of miniature golf.  Thanks April for the photo and tip on posting it.

This is a new day for me.  I have a love hate relationship with technology.  I love that you can do journaling and scrap booking all in one place. and the instantly share it with all your family and friends at just the touch of a button or click of the mouse.  I hate that I don't know what I'm doing!  And unfortunately all the family techies live out of state or hours away.  So here's to doing something and maybe with a little help (I'm open to any and all suggestions) it might not turn out too bad.